That night, as he sat alone in his room, Arun couldn’t shake the unease that had settled in his heart. His meeting with Karthik had been pleasant—too pleasant. The way Karthik had spoken to him, the way his family had celebrated afterward, it all felt like they had won.
But had he lost?
He ran his fingers through his long hair, his mind drifting to the past. He had once been a man. He had once walked with confidence, spoken with authority, lived without second-guessing himself. And now? Now, he sat here in a saree, his hands adorned with bangles, his hair fragrant with jasmine, and his family speaking of his marriage as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
His chest tightened. Was this really who I am? Or is this just who they made me?
His fingers trembled as they touched the jasmine flowers in his hair. He wanted to rip them off, to throw them away, to reclaim what was left of his masculinity.
But… could he?
Would he even feel like himself anymore without them?
The Family’s Gentle Persuasion
The next morning, Lakshmi found him sitting in the courtyard, staring at the ground. He hadn’t put flowers in his hair that day, and his saree looked loosely draped, as if he had worn it reluctantly.
She sighed softly and sat beside him. “What’s wrong, kanna?”
Arun didn’t respond at first. Then, after a long silence, he whispered, “Amma… was I ever really a man?”
Lakshmi’s heart ached at his words. She reached out and gently took his hand. “Of course you were, kanna. And you still are… in your heart.”
Arun turned to her, his eyes searching hers desperately. “Then why does it feel like that part of me is slipping away? Why does it feel like I’ve already lost?”
Lakshmi smiled gently, brushing his hair back. “Because you’re fighting something that isn’t a battle. You’re not losing, ma. You’re growing. You’re becoming something more.”
Arun swallowed hard. “But I was supposed to be a man.”
Lakshmi nodded. “And you were. But tell me, kanna… when you wear your saree, when you tuck jasmine into your hair, when you take care of this home—do you feel weak? Or do you feel… complete?”
Arun hesitated. His mind screamed one thing, but his heart whispered another.
Lakshmi continued, “Masculinity and femininity aren’t about strength or weakness. They’re about where you find happiness. And we’ve all seen it, kanna. You are happy. Even if you don’t want to admit it yet.”
Tears welled up in Arun’s eyes. “But if I accept this… if I marry Karthik… then what’s left of the person I used to be?”
Lakshmi cupped his face, wiping away his tears. “That person hasn’t disappeared, ma. He’s just found a new way to exist. And we love you no matter what.”
A Moment of Truth
That evening, Arun stood before the mirror again.
His reflection looked back at him, saree draped elegantly, jasmine flowers tucked neatly in his long hair.
He reached up, his fingers brushing against the petals.
And this time… he didn’t pull away.
A deep breath filled his lungs. He was still afraid. He was still uncertain. But maybe, just maybe… he didn’t have to fight anymore.
Maybe it was time to let go.
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